The Unfolding of My Self

"If we are really honest with ourselves, we must admit that our lives are all that really belong to us, so it is how we use our lives that determines what kind of persons we are. And it is my deepest belief that only by giving our lives do we find life. I am convinced that the truest act of courage, the strongest act of humanity is to sacrifice ourselves for something higher--that which we believe in and love deeply" ___Cesar Chavez



I'd like to be able to just wiggle my nose and have new and really great ideas for art pop into my head, magically. I talk a lot about being inspired by nature, but sometimes my inspiration doesn't come from nature or anywhere around me. My inspiration, or ideas, are often born out of past experiences, painful memories, and joyful memories too, jumbled together and struggling to make sense of it all. Nature, or being in and around it, can definitely promote the creative process, but the actual art does not always come from nature.

Through my artistic creations I find ways to process those memories into something meaningful to me, or something beautiful with a defined form using mediums I can control--such as clay or stone. Because in Nature we do not control anything, JUST as it is in life. Control, if you can call it that, comes in the initial choice as we stand at the cross roads of life deciding which way to turn. But once you make that turn, there is no going back. And because life events are so transient, Artistic creativity, whether it is through sculpture, painting, writing, playing music or whatever your medium, is a way of going back over the events of your life and re-doing them or transmuting the energy of the event into something beautiful and lasting. Only the mediums and choices are "controlled"; the actual outcome should always be left to the mystery.


With sculpture, depending on the medium you choose to work with, you can poke, and prod, until you have created something pleasing to your eyes, and move on from there. I believe there are no mistakes either in life or in art but the level of excellence comes through in the process and methods you use, and how well you execute them. Just as in life, there are no mistakes, however some people seem to plod through life falling into one rut after another , whereas some people just seem to have an instinct for taking the right road and staying out of ruts--flawless execution! I have been one of those who always took the road less traveled and seemed to be attracted to the bumps in the road. Luckily I was always a quick learner AND a perfectionist, and didn't often repeat the same mistake twice. But have had a few doozies in my time. I always said, looking back, that these experiences were what have given me character and substance with lots of food for thought to draw on when writing and creating art.

But getting back to the "control" thing....I have been pondering this all week since I am well into my latest project...a new mosaic piece for my Soul series on the Self. This piece has been committed for a show in September and I agreed to make a new piece because I like chaos in my life, it seems. Not that I don't have enough to do with myself as it is, but the challenge of making a new piece was too much to pass up, especially if I was under a time crunch besides. I have said many times that there are two kinds of artists...those who create art for money, and those who create art out of the pure love of creation. The latter is me. This does create a problem however because I have always made art on my own schedule, according to my own terms. I have difficulty with people who try to tell me what to do with my art.
After all it is my creation right? I don't make art to suit someones living room decor, or fit into their color scheme....either they love the art just because and can't live without it, and if they do they will change their color scheme to fit the art or not! Now that said, it brings me back to this work of art. I spent the better of two weeks thinking about what this piece should be?, what would it have to say to the world? Will it be feminine or masculine? Will it have a colorful personality or will it be simple and pure? These are all valid questions when birthing a new idea or a new sculpture. Meditation, writing and sketching are all important steps in the process, but eventually I had to get out of "control" mode and just allow whatever idea came to me flow.

I compiled a stack of supplies that I knew I would need, like toys, and gathered them all around me on my work table.
There were a few basic things I had to do such as constructing the base and inner form but the creative part was just working with the materials. For two days I have been "playing in the mud" so to speak...working with the ideas that just came to me instinctively and finally have the basic element for the inner structure of the new mosaic. I have yet to name her...it is a feminine form with a ghostly apparition attached to her....so the mystery is what to call her...what have I created from my past? What am I trying to teach with this piece of art? What will be her message? That is all in the mystery and will be unfolding as I progress....So far I call it "Another part of Myself"

Stay tuned for more "unfolding".... In the meantime just enjoy the beauty of nature around us. Try to imagine your life as a balloon, floating, drifting and being propelled by the winds of time, totally out of your control, and yet you are at the drivers seat turning the flame, that keeps you afloat. When the flame goes out, you have reached the end of the ride. Remember to keep the flame alive at all times and enjoy the ride from a higher perspective...when you look down from that higher point of view, you will see things differently. Things that once seemed so large, are meaningless and almost disappear from your site.

Blessings to all...come back to visit again!