Peaceful Coexistence

What We Can Learn from the Animals

I love my animal friends. Annie the cat, is actually a newcomer in our house. Oscar the dog thinks he is the boss of everyone but is really just the resident male. He is a lovable, silly Labrador mix who came into my life almost ten years ago from Labrador Rescue. I have dragged Oscar all over the country with me and he is my best buddy and pain in the neck at times but I don't think my life would be the same without him.

The first thing I did for Oscar when I adopted him was to take him to obedience classes because he definitely needed to learn manners. It was also a great way for us to bond by learning the joys of teaching via "clicker" method. At one point I realized that it was me who was being trained, not the dog! But chewing on my new shoes and anything in his reach was definitely not a good thing and by taking these classes Oscar eventually learned the difference between his toys and mine. After he managed to pass obedience with flying colors, I took him to therapy dog classes so he could become certified as a therapy dog. Oscar had shown from the beginning that he had a natural gift with people, which is one of the reasons I loved him from the beginning. In therapy class it took two tries before he mastered all the commands and different phases of training, but he finally came through on that one too. Oscar now had a profession!

He has been a wonderful companion dog over the years, visiting with me at the home where my Dad lived shortly before he passed on, and then later where my Mom lived it was a joy to see how the people brightened up and looked forward to Oscar's weekly visits. A dog can sense emotional things that humans cannot and has a way of knowing when to stick his nose in your face and when to back off. I've often said humans can learn a lot by raising a Dog. I have seen Oscar gently stand by a person's wheelchair while the person, attempted in their own difficult way to pet him, but what would usually end up for him being banged on top of the head, unintentionally of course, but he would just stand by and allow the person to do the best they could to make contact with him. For some, who could not react by petting him, he would just lay his head gently on their knee and look up into their eyes. Some form of communication was going on because often a little tear would fall from the eyes of my Dad, when he did that. My Dad loved dogs when we were kids, and seeing Oscar always made him happy.

Later on, I had a back injury and had to have surgery on my back. I didn't know how I would ever manage to take care of the dog with no help, but the dog ended up being my savior. He was constantly by my side, and often when I could not get out of bed for days other than to let them out and feed them, he would jump up on the covers and push his back against my back to comfort me. Up to that point I had never allowed him on the bed, but when he knew I was sick, all bets were off on that one. Luckily I had a full recovery in time and I owe it partly to the fact that even though it was hard for me to get up and walk right away, it was the one thing that forced me out of bed and on my feet, and resulting in a faster recovery than if I had layed around for months doing nothing. Having the responsibility of someone who depends on you is a great healer.

Three years ago my son, who is developmentally disabled, came to live with us again and Oscar and Heaven are a blessing for him. He has an autistic spectrum disorder and having the dogs around create an aura of peace and love for my son like no other. When he is having a bad day it is usually because he gets "off track" and the dogs know it and are right there by his side. They say nothing but they do by their presence, what no person can do. They have a way of calming him and putting his mind back into the present moment. If Todd is getting "stuck" or just refuses to move forward on something, Oscar will go into his "silly" act, jumping on his bed, or laying on the floor and rubbing his back on the floor, making silly gestures. This usually makes Todd laugh and gets him out of his "mood". The dogs are fantastic and truly a blessing in this regard.

Oscar on Left - Heaven on the Right
The second dog in our family was Heaven. She is also an adoptee from the Golden Retriever Rescue which I was foster mom for a few years. When Heaven arrived I knew it would be a lifetime connection with her too. She has the most angelic personality of any animal I have known since Oscar. Heaven's history was that she had been raised by a breeder in Canada originally and then placed in a "forever" home to live out her retirement from breeding. However her forever home ended up having to place her with a rescue group because of family problems, and this often happens. I took her in, and loved her from the first moment. She was, at first, extremely nervous and shy and it was a month before she would even leave the kitchen where her bed was. Finally after much coaching and coaxing, she wandered into the living room one night and jumped up on the couch with me. It was the beginning of her transformation. She was nine years old then, and has now just turned 14. She is still the same loveable and sweet dog, just older. Her heart is weaker, her eyes have cataracts, her hearing is not so good any more, but I still love her and treat her with the utmost respect she deserves as an old girl. She gets groomed regularly, and looks beautiful. She is happy and bounces around the kitchen whenever there are treats or dinner preparation going on, she loves to be petted and brushed, and her favorite thing is to bring me a toy at the dinner table, expecting a little snack. Of course I know its not good to feed dogs at the table but how can anyone resist that face!

Oscar is the most tolerant dog I have ever known, and the most gentle and silly with other animals too. When Annie came into our lives this was a new thing for him. Annie is my daughter's cat who we acquired last June because she and her husband were on a trip to Europe and did not have anywhere for Annie to stay. So I sort of cheerily volunteered. I've owned cats before but Annie is her own person. Historically she has been a very aloof cat, but when she got to my house she suddenly became the new boss in town. No place is out of bounds for her, if she wants to go there; in front of my computer the minute I turn it on, on top of my desk, under the bed, in the shower, sitting on the living room couches and windowsills, and the dogs just wonder where the heck she gets off going there. She will get on or off my lap whenever and if she feels like it. But that's just the way cats are! When it comes to the dogs, well, she just barely tolerates them. Oscar though is no pushover and will not be ignored. He is always in her face trying to get her to play. Annie of course doesn't really mind but she won't let him know it. The photo of them laying together separated by the wall, says it all. They like each other but want to keep some "space" between them. Oscar doesn't seem to mind. He is patient and will wait for the day when Annie will be sleeping right next to him. He knows he will win her over eventually, just like he won over Heaven. The two of them wait for each other to go outside and they love to go on walks together. It is a peaceful coexistence, with respect and dignity for all....each respecting each others food bowls, and space to sleep. They share their toys and their love for everyone, willingly giving love to all who give it back, and sometimes to those who don't give it back. I guess this is a good code to live by for all of us.

G'day for now!