Are we there yet?

Patience
I am the first to admit that patience is truly a virtue. In my younger days I recall being told many times "You just have to learn to be patient". Whatever it was I wanted to have or to have happen in my life, if it was not happening when I needed it to, would cause me extreme frustration. My father was the one who always managed to convince me that it just wasn't time. "Things happen when they are supposed to happen" he would say. Not because I wasn't good enough or didn't do enough but it just wasn't the time. That philosophy carried with me all my life. It has enabled me to learn to wait for things to happen on their own time and not on my time. It allowed me to be a visionary, a dreamer and creator but not hold on to my expectations for the outcome of things.
Often, if something did not manifest in my life when I prayed or asked for it, I would soon forget about it anyway and decided it just wasn't that important, at least not for that point in time. Like when I wanted to learn to sew as a young girl, and had no patience for the process. My projects would always turn out a disaster. My Mom taught me the value of taking my time, and being patient with myself and the process even though her methods of teaching were far less "patient" than my Father's. Other times, I learned that if something didn't come to me when I asked for it, then perhaps I had not put enough of my own energy into the project to make it happen. We are responsible for what we manifest or don't manifest in our lives, it doesn't just appear there on its own. Well, some things do but that is rare. Like the person in my town who last week won a 32 million dollar lotto ticket! "That was supposed to be mine!" I shouted at the TV!! Well, I forgot to buy the darned ticket last week!

Seriously though, other things percolate in our heads for years, distant desires, dreams, things we want to make, things we would like to learn, and bigger dreams - that we think and dream about but do not actually take seriously. Dreams about who we want to be and what we want to accomplish in our life. What about those things? When do they manifest? On their own? or does it take our true intention to make it happen and taking action to help it along and then waiting to see what the "Universe" brings our way?

I have been reading the book "Heart of the Visionary" which I mentioned a few posts ago, and realized that yes I do still have a dream which I have not taken action on for years. We get stuck in the "traffic" of life, literally, and just don't have time. Or worse, we forget to dream at all. For me, that "dream" is my vision of a Creative Arts Center for developmentally disabled adults. I wrote a preliminary vision plan several years ago and had attempted to get it started a few times but not with a lot of enthusiasm or perhaps the timing was all wrong, so it would go back on the shelf for a later time. This has happened several times in almost ten years. When I received the vision workbook for Christmas and started reading, I realized that perhaps the timing was now for me to take down my vision plan, get off the road, and have another look at it. In doing so I realized that indeed many of the parts of the plan were already in place to finally make this dream a reality, and I had done nothing that I could consciously recall to actually make them happen. I am sure I did, but not for the purpose of creating my dream. Or did I take certain actions on a subconscious level without even realizing it? Isn't that how the Universe works anyway? We create an idea or dream in our heads, create the plan, create the vision, and then let it go into the ether of space and let go of the outcome? Weeks, months, and even years later, circumstances then fall into place within the Divine matrix of life and create our dream for us. One day we wake up and realize that almost all the parts are there, it is only up to us to finalize the details. Sometimes it happens by changing our awareness of things. It is a very exciting concept.

In reading Shiloh Sophia McCloud's book one of the poems she quotes says this:

Be Patient
Toward all that is unsolved in your heart
and try to love the questions themselves
as if they were locked rooms, or books written
in a very foreign language.
Don't search for the answers,
which could not be given to you now.
You would not be able to live them.
and the point is, to live everything.
Live the questions now.
Perhaps then, someday far in the future,
you will gradually, without even noticing it,
live your way into the answer.

Rainer Maria Rilke
Letters to a young Poet...

This so beautifully puts the concept of allowing the questions in your life, the unknowns, the mystery, to be loved as much as what we know. Keep them in our hearts as though they were books written in a foreign language..so aptly describes how some things feel when we are trying to conceptualize a vision we have. It is not always so easy to put it into words or a picture we are trying to paint. Once we can illustrate that dream, it makes it easier to see it. Once we see and feel it, it is almost there in the palm of our hands. As she says, live the questions now, and someday in the future you will live your way to the answer.

I cannot say for certainty that this time my dream will definitely manifest in my life, but it is my intention to do what it is I have to do, and can do within my power, to make it happen, and truly my hope is that the Universe will combine forces with me to put in place the necessary people, places and things, to make it manifest. If so it will be the directing force in my life for the next few years at least. It would be another example of patience becoming a virtue and also creating the dream of putting my art to use for a greater good than my own ego. It' all part of imagining our lives with vision, purpose and possibility.

Pleasant dreaming....

The Way?

A human being is part of the whole, called by us "the Universe." Our task must be to widen our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty............ Albert Einstein

In my studies and reading on "The TAO" I came across this by Huang Po:

Question: What is the Way and how must it be followed?
Answer: What sort of thing do you supposed the Way to be, that you should
wish to follow it?

Many people ask about "The TAO of Stone"...what do I mean by the TAO? The TAO is not a thing - it is a Way...a way of being, not something to follow, as the answer above explains. It is not a religion or a particular philosophy but I believe perhaps the word philosophy describes it best as describing what the Way IS but in and of itself it is UN-describable. One Taoist master said that if you can describe the TAO, then it is not the TAO. It is a sense of being in spirit with all that is. Deep compassion for "the ten thousand things" or in other words, all of nature and life and being "in tune" "receptive", or at a state of total acceptance, or non resistance to what IS.

Think of a rock...or a stone lying in a quarry in Tuscany, Italy. It is there for perhaps hundreds of years, undisturbed until one day someone comes along and removes it. This person then packs it on a pallet, and it is shipped over the ocean to New York, and subsequently later shipped on to California and ends up in a stone supply warehouse in Escondido, California. There it sits at the bottom of the pile until--along comes me.

Now I am what is considered a "direct" stone carver, one who carves by feeling and touch, rather than forcing an
object out of just any old stone. So when I search for a stone, the stone has to speak to me. Not literally, but something in the stone does grab me, or attracts me to it. When you have found a special piece you just know. The subject of the stone sculpture is already there in its "essence" and you see it with your heart. That is what I mean by following "the TAO" of the stone. It is the only way I can sculpt, or create a new piece. I must be in touch with the material.

The latest piece I created, which I have been talking about for the past few weeks, "Another Side of My Self" was an interesting piece because I did not know I was going to create it until very recently. Unlike many of my sculptures or mosaics especially, I think about them for months in advance and often have the entire concept already completed in my head. This time was different. I was recently selected to show three other works of art that I currently have finished, in a show at Bistango Restaurant in Irvine, California http://www.bistango.com/ from October through January. The owner asked if I could create another mosaic to go with the piece entitled Mirrored Image which they had selected as one of the pieces for the show: http://www.passinogallery.com/pages/gallery_14.html Being that I really wanted to do the show, I said yes, but knowing also that I only had six weeks to complete the piece gave me a little bit of a challenge. Normally I take three months at least to complete a large mosaic because I don't work on them full time. I work a few hours a day or up to six hours max. It may look like you are just cutting glass and gluing the pieces on randomly but there IS a pattern and a method to create the right effect. I try to pace myself to avoid becoming burned out. Stay focused but also keep my mind open and fresh and above all, have fun with it. Nothing ruins a piece of art more than monotony or pressure to complete.

The challenge was in developing the concept from the beginning. No artist works totally without a design even if it is just in their head. I work with a conceptual idea or what I want to convey with my work, and basic and very simple sketches initially. I then determine my general color scheme and what materials I will use. With a mosaic, which needs to be built out of a variety of materials to create the basic structure, the glass is the last thing to go on, but also the most effective and essential for the right effect. You have to know what the piece will look like finished in order to put the mosaic together correctly, as it is not something you can change once the grout is done. That is the final product.

Unlike stone, where you don't have any idea what the finished product will look like when you start, you work totally
by intuition, feel and touch. The concept begins to develop as you work and sketch as you go along. Once the basic
structure is developed then it is much easier to finish but it all takes time and just a lot of trust. The final product in stone is a much more time consuming and tedious project and it is very doubtful that I could finish a stone sculpture in five weeks, but not impossible, providing the stone cooperates.

And last of all, being in the "now" or present moment, also helps when you are working with art. If your mind is wandering all over the place that doesn't work. It is very important to stay grounded and if you are not really grounded, try working with stone. Nothing connects your energy field to Mother Earth like Stone! Glass is close, but not the same. When I work in glass I feel the energy of Fire, more than Earth, which is why it helps to have a fountain nearby to help calm you, and I also play music while I am working , usually either classical or Native American Flute music. For me it is the best way for me to lose track of time and just be in the flow of my work.

So today I finished putting all of the last pieces of glass on my sculpture, and grouted it completely. All in all it was about six hours of work-just for today. Grouting takes a long time and there is much tedious cleanup and polishing required to make it perfect. It is not something you can do in a hurry or you risk ruining all your hard work. Remember we are working with tiny pieces of glass that are as small as 1/4 of and inch in some cases. The grout fills out the piece, softens the colors and smooths the form so that your work finally comes to life. This sculpture has a story, and
in my next post I will talk about the mosaic series on "the Self"...

She is truly "Another Side of My Self"....more later.

Peace be to all....Love and Light